Thanksgiving

So I'm in Austin for Thanksgiving for the first time in a while. It's much too warm to be the end of November to my still mid-Atlantic sensibilities. Right now I'm sprawled on my bed thinking that there really ought to be something I could be up to or somewhere I could be going tonight. It sounds fantastically decadent. Next year I'm making something up instead of settling for a quiet night in with my oven and Kitchenaide mixer.

Rocktoberfest

For whatever reason I keep thinking I'm going to leave work (13 minutes and 20 seconds) and walk out into a chilly, dim late fall evening. Despite the fact that it is most definitely still summer here in Austin. I think my body has decided enough with this weather, if we can't have it for real, we'll fool ourselves. Even Denver wasn't as deliciously cool as expected. Not incredibly hot, and the changing Aspen's on the drive to Boulder for Sunday's match were lovely, but it was nothing like I had hoped. Then again, pretty much nothing about the month of September, much less that trip, was. On the bright side, the beds in the hotel were fantastic and the pitch in Boulder was downright lush. An "oh, please tackle me" kind of lush.

October isn't starting out so great either, for a variety of reasons. I am, however, going to attempt to celebrate Rocktoberfest along with The Modern Gal. I pledge that I am going to do my best to make that 16 kg kettlebell my primary weight. I may not be able to press 16 kilos by the end of the month, but I will at least be able to snatch it. That will make me feel like I rock.

Also, I pledge to come up with another pledge for Rocktoberfest...

Plus, DQ has Pumpkin Pie Blizzards for the month of October. I'm going to see Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist tonight with friends. Iron Man is out on DVD. Sunday I get my birthday cake during Pattie and Carrey's house warming. Not to mention that I get to play lots of rugby during the month of October. Fun, low-stress rugby with our B-side, starting as eight man.

*I know I'm not blogging much. Keep up with me on Twitter instead.*

like being 14 all over again

Back in Austin and readjusting to non-vacation life. As well as my own "cooking." Which is in parenthesis quotations because these days it's actually what passes for cooking, but usually involves something frozen coming out the microwave hot. Also adjusting to the fact that my parents are getting along and by all appearances communicating after a year long separation and God only knows how much of my adolescence. Call me a cynic, but this dramatic of a change in my dad all of a sudden makes me wary.

But on a more shameful, frightening note, I went through my old closet while back home. Came across my tape collection from middle school. In addition to a wide range songs ripped off the radio were two Carman tapes and a Newsboys tape. Mortifying.

one door away from heaven

Plenty of hubub in the house this year and yet I still can't seem to drown out the worries of Austin, which have followed me to east coast. I love my family, but yet I'm seriously irritated half the time. Grouchy in my old age or some such.

It's bitter cold here. Last night I donned a coat and sat basking in the moonlight and the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks, looking for a moment of internal peace long after the house had gone quiet. It's all energy somehow, light, motion, sound, five year old boy... The two year old carries around his blanket like Linus, occasionally moving too quickly and tripping over it. There is love here, in this house that is finally feeling broken in after fifteen years, that's starting to smell the way I remember the cottage smelling, of old wood and dust and salt air settled into the cracks. There are answers somewhere in this, just at the edge of my peripheral vision, just beyond graspable.

I Enjoy Being A Girl

Muddy rugby players in preparation for this weekend's tournament in Corpus Christi. Rugby on the beach sounds an awful lot like heaven. We leave tomorrow afternoon, stay with one of the Corpus girls generous enough to offer a patch of floor for us to crash overnight, play rugby and drink beer on Saturday, camp on the beach Saturday night, and I plan on spending some quality time with the ocean Sunday before we head back to Austin. I'm praying to the rain gods and hoping for the best.

These girls could kick your ass

These girls could kick your ass
Originally uploaded by r3dcurlz.

Giddy scrummies, barefoot and victorious. Pretty cool seeing a photo of us that someone else posted to flickr. Thanks r3dcurlz!

reclaiming my life

Dusk is gathering, as are what look like rain clouds. It's humid enough at the moment, but still I'm sitting outside on campus for use of the free internet. Might as well use it while I still can. I'm back on campus for the first time in a week to clean out my desk. It's an odd feeling, but freeing. I never have to walk in that lab with the bad fluorescent lighting and horrible boss ever again. There may be a visit or two over the summer when I know my ex-PI is out of town, but there is nothing requiring me to go back.

I have decided I am reclaiming my life. Doing the things I want to do and really live. Two weekends ago I went camping at Enchanted Rock. Every time I spend time in the great outdoors I'm reminded that living in the city is not for me. Saturday morning I was up early with a couple of other people from the group while most everyone else slept in. We went for a hike around part of loop; the Hill Country almost looks like the Appalachians in the early sunlight with fog in the low areas.

My graduation weekend was technically this past weekend. I didn't walk, it seemed, not pointless, but certainly not appealing. So I hung out with the Huns and the boys from the Mariners RFC, who were on tour from Bermuda. The annual Huns boat party on Lake Travis was much more satisfying than sitting through a commencement ceremony. The pub crawl the night before was something of a psychology experiment, but one I enjoyed immensely. There really is nothing in the world quite like a group of ruggers. Particularly ruggers on tour.

Right now I'm in this spot in my life with all the loose ends tied up and nothing new quite in the works yet. Technically, I am totally free. I could pick up and go anywhere in the world, which may be the most intoxicating thought ever. Leaving Austin, or more specifically my support network here, makes the chances that I'll actually do it without a very good reason rather slim. Between the Gateway crew and my Valkyries Austin has become the best place I have ever lived, but maybe I will run away to that island in the tropics after all. I think I've been land locked for far too long.

steam-powered

Maybe it's just my obsession with all things Firefly and Firefly-like (which this somewhat resembles) but this Steampunk showcase at SXSW looks awesome. I could totally use a time machine booth these days.


ah yes, the thesis count: 38 pages, 64 references, and hybridizing arrays tonight!

ice day

This should be the requisite "OMG! It's snowing! We're in Austin and it's SNOWING!" post. I missed out on that yesterday. Not out on taking pictures of it, because yes I was outside when it started and I was most certainly grinning like an idiot. Because I'm in Austin. And it really was snowing. I haven't seen snow since February of 2004 when Stillwater (photo on the right) was covered with the white stuff and it was so cold the brick courtyard in front of the Edmond Lowe library was a sheet of ice for a week. No, I'm missing out because I left the adapter cord for my camera at work and therefore can't upload any of those photos of the ice I took until it is retrieved.

So I spent yesterday working on just about anything except my thesis. On a positive note, however, my kitchen is cleaner that it has been in quite a while. I also spent loads of time playing with the photographs already on my computer as well as on flickr. I finally uploaded my Thanksgiving pictures, including some adorable ones of my youngest cousins. I also came across these incredible images from Ophelia Chong. I wish I were half as creative. I never even contemplated collages of the sort despite the large amount of it I did in college. Not entirely a wasted day, but one I could have utilized better.

grey and cold and wet

It's a rainy, cold weekday afternoon in the Northern Shenandoah Valley and I'm attempting to focus on alcoholic mice and miRNA function with little success. Everything I write seems completely plagarized, but mostly because everyone says essentially the same thing over and over again in their brief overviews of alcoholism and its effects on society to start off their journal articles. Half of what I'm reading isn't sticking through the haze of sinus pressure. What I would really rather be doing is watching The Fellowship of the Ring on the very large TV at home whilst curled up on the sofa.

Hanging out with my brothers has proven interesting. They've both grown up a lot in the last year and remarkably making decisions that directly affect the rest of their lives. My mother is moving forward and upward in the wake of her separation from my father. It hasn't been easy on anyone, but in the long run it's a major positive for everyone involved. Not having him in the house has definitely made for a much more relaxed few days at home; no worrying about keeping things on an even keel, wondering how long it would before before something miniscule and inconsequential sets him off again. Christmas Day won't be nearly so peaceful.

Rhode Island Dreaming

Thanksgiving made for an absolutely amazing weekend. I had forgotten how wonderful it is to have family around. Family one gets along with, that is. I have a plethora of photos from my trip, all of which are currently languishing in my computer because I left my USB cord in Rhode Island. My aunt is mailing it to me, so hopefully I'll have it back and photos posted soon.

My cousins, Cameron and Devon, are the cutest kids ever. Two and four may be the perfect age, at least when you get to give them back. From intense and sarcastically competitive Scrabble games to walks on the beach to pumpkin cheesecake, all in a place I love, I cannot imagine having a more perfect Thanksgiving weekend. Not to mention the fact that I finally figured out where my sense of humor and some other major parts of my personality come from. And I was genuinely happy. More so than I have been in a long time.

All of this is enough to make me seriously consider moving to New England. Finding a job wouldn't be difficult, one of my mom's brothers works as a consultant in the biomedical field and offered to use his connections, I'd be close to family, my allergies are negligible compared to Austin, the ocean is right there, and the northeast actually has seasons. However, I don't know how much of that reasoning is my deep dissatisfaction with graduate school speaking and how much of it is really what I want. Nor do I think I'm ready to pick up and leave all of my Austin friends. It took a long time to find my support network and I seriously doubt I'll ever find a group quite like them ever again. Then there's my rugby team and the fact that Austin is finally starting to feel familiar. Really, though, all of this is pointless conjecture because unless I'm prepared to walk away from my degree none of this is feasible for at least another six months. But it is a relief to know there is somewhere I could escape to that I am happy.

thanksgiving

Less than an hour before I head to catch the shuttle to the airport. While I'm not feeling particularly enthusiastic about spending the next twelve hours or so dealing with air travel I am extremely excited about this holiday. I fly into BWI via Denver (wha?) midnight-ish and from there am heading north to Jamestown, RI with my mom and youngest brother. It's about an eight hour drive and there was no option for changing my flights, even with a hefty fine; it seems holiday travel really doesn't lend itself to changing plans.

There is absolutely nowhere in the world I would rather be this weekend than with this particular group of family in Hull Cove, Jamestown, RI. I'm probably going to have an interesting time explaining just why I'm mastering out my graduate program, but otherwise these are people whom, given the opportunity, I would choose for family and I haven't seen most of them since the summer of 2004. The cove has been a refuge for me all of my life; some of my earliest memories involve family vacations there surrounded by my cousins and my mother's siblings. I still hear the waves in my dreams to this day.

In four days I'll be back in the reality of life, hopefully with plenty of family anecdotes that don't involve being offered cheap whiskey by my grandfather (That was the other side of the family, last Christmas. This upcoming Christmas I'll probably need it.) Until then, though, it's comfort food, and time with a book next to the fireplace and waking up with the waves outside my window.