one door away from heaven

Plenty of hubub in the house this year and yet I still can't seem to drown out the worries of Austin, which have followed me to east coast. I love my family, but yet I'm seriously irritated half the time. Grouchy in my old age or some such.

It's bitter cold here. Last night I donned a coat and sat basking in the moonlight and the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks, looking for a moment of internal peace long after the house had gone quiet. It's all energy somehow, light, motion, sound, five year old boy... The two year old carries around his blanket like Linus, occasionally moving too quickly and tripping over it. There is love here, in this house that is finally feeling broken in after fifteen years, that's starting to smell the way I remember the cottage smelling, of old wood and dust and salt air settled into the cracks. There are answers somewhere in this, just at the edge of my peripheral vision, just beyond graspable.

deep breaths

Wake up, wake up this ain’t just a thing that you
Give up give up don’t you say that I’d be
Better off better off, sleepin’ by myself and wonderin’
If I’m better off better off, without you boy
-Colbie Caillat

Does it get easier? More than a month now and I still on occasion have to concentrate on remembering how to breathe.

Hoping Thanksgiving weekend at the cove will help. Salt water cures all and I need my family.

satisfaction

Spending time with my close friends just hanging out last night at Andrew and Rachel's was the best Saturday night I've had in a long time. It may sound sacrilegious to some, but it was the kind of satisfying a rugby gathering never seems to be. They truly are the family I've created for myself here in Austin.

Texas on the web

Greg Dean is moving to Texas! Another admission to my nerdiness, I read a number of web comics. Including Real Life, written by Greg. San Antonio has been highlighted by Greg the past few days, and I have to say that he really hits the nail on the head with Tuesday's strip.

Austin was home to some great rugby this past weekend. While the Valks weren't playing, at least we got to be there and watch and see old friends. I'm done playing for the fall for a variety of reasons, but it's good to be letting my ankle heal. Soft tissue injuries are a menace. As for those props, I'd say most of the front rows were considerably bigger women than myself. Which sounds like a challenge to get myself fit and strong enough to bring it.