post script

And in further procrastination: I heart Emma Thompson for many reasons, this article displaying a few of them.

"What I tend to do is lie in a fetal position under my desk and weep for a while. Then I get bored with that and I write something."

grey and cold and wet

It's a rainy, cold weekday afternoon in the Northern Shenandoah Valley and I'm attempting to focus on alcoholic mice and miRNA function with little success. Everything I write seems completely plagarized, but mostly because everyone says essentially the same thing over and over again in their brief overviews of alcoholism and its effects on society to start off their journal articles. Half of what I'm reading isn't sticking through the haze of sinus pressure. What I would really rather be doing is watching The Fellowship of the Ring on the very large TV at home whilst curled up on the sofa.

Hanging out with my brothers has proven interesting. They've both grown up a lot in the last year and remarkably making decisions that directly affect the rest of their lives. My mother is moving forward and upward in the wake of her separation from my father. It hasn't been easy on anyone, but in the long run it's a major positive for everyone involved. Not having him in the house has definitely made for a much more relaxed few days at home; no worrying about keeping things on an even keel, wondering how long it would before before something miniscule and inconsequential sets him off again. Christmas Day won't be nearly so peaceful.

materials and methods

In an effort to unsettle any future students who may stumble across this blog, this post from Concurring Opinions to the method I use when grading. The comments to it are highly indicative of what spending too much time with whining undergraduates will do to your perspective on life.

Fortunately a good long drive is good for perspective. Solitary time in the limbo that is travelling back from Saturday night insanity in a distant town is a major ingredient for sanity. I like road trips, even short ones. There is something soothing about the rural Texas country side flying by on a Sunday afternoon and sometimes all I really need is to get out of Austin for 24 hours.

I'm trying to spend my two day week getting things together to head home. I have big plans to get a start on my thesis. Next semester is beginning to bear down on me and this is one way to minimize the trouble to be found in having more things to do than I have energy to devote to them. Else, I may find myself using the above method for grading papers.

excuses.

My life has gone from breakneck speed into an uncontrolled Mach 3. Or something like that. So photos of my Thanksgiving weekend help bring me back to earth. Because there is life outside of this mess, I just need to remember that.

Monday I spent nearly a full twelve hours on my feet doing an experiment, arriving home just before my small group showed up at eight. More of those are planned just to accomplish everything I need to accomplish. Keeping busy is good for me, but I'm already starting to feel stretched thin and the worst of next semester hasn't even gotten close to beginning. There are a lot of things I want to accomplish between now and next week when I leave for the holiday that just aren't going to get done because I'm running out of time. And today is a waste of time because my lab is going to Chuy's for lunch, which wipes out a good three hours in the middle of my day. None of the benchwork I have to do can be accomplished in the time slot before that, furthering the situation.

Socially my life is out of control. This weekend I have three different events involving three different groups of people, one of which is a graduation party in College Station that I don't have time for, but will feel immensely guilty if I miss out on. Plus I really want to be there. My weeknights are also ridiculously scheduled - and this is my life not on rugby. I have no idea what I am going to do in the spring and what I am going to cut out. Sleep, perhaps, on top of three-quarters of everything else.

I'm grateful to have such a full life and so many wonderful people filling it, not to mention the trouble I have always had saying "no" when asked to help. This is worlds better than where I was two years ago when new to Austin, spending most nights alone on my sofa with a movie and rare nights out doing things I despised with people, for the most part, I didn't like very much. So to those of you I won't see very often for the next six months I apologize. And please don't forget me.

applause

A friend of mine recently posted a blog entry could have been taken out of my journal. Except that it was succinct and well written. I wish I had half the courage she does in posting her weaknesses and insecurities and struggles for the world to see.

Is grad school over yet?

Friday's poster session went well, in the "I was back in a corner and spent nearly an hour talking only to our lab's undergrads" sense of going well. I guess I could say all that stress for nothing, but really I'm just glad it's over. So now I have about two weeks to get as much done with my microarrays as possible before heading home for Christmas, the very thought of which makes me happy my life is compartmentalized well. Yes, I'll be hard at work writing while home, but at least have a break from this environment. Back to work. The more I get done now, the less I have to do next semester.