anticipation

Rugby practice starts in just over two weeks... I need this. Both my mind and my body need this. It sounds crazy, but I feel different: more restless, more unsettled, less content, less self confident when I don't have rugby for an extended period of time. My stress just accumulates. It generally settles in my back. My lower back tension, and thus hamstring tightness issues, will dissapate once I'm back on the pitch. There is a difference in the way I deal with my emotions, not to mention in my self confidence. Active rugby players have this small voice in the back of their mind telling them that they are capable of taking over the world. After all, after eighty extremely physical minutes battling heavier, fiercer opponents on a rugby pitch there isn't much left to prove to yourself.

I need this.

musing six

Six degrees of separation between myself and any other person on the planet. It's an interesting concept to play with, as is the complex web of interactions between those people and how what I do potentially effects an exponentially increasing number of people. It also makes me glad I don't deal with the general populous on a regular basis they way I did when I was still working in retail hell (aka "one hour photo").

Cause and effect, cause and effect... The intricacies are fascinating, especially considering the lives we waltz in and out of, brush up against barely in the course of a typical week. During a quick grocery store trip alone it's possible to interact in some way with a half a dozen people. Smile at the guy behind the meats counter, cut off someone pushing a full shopping cart accidentally, let someone else have the last pint of dulce de leche ice cream... Any of that could affect the way that person interacts with a number of someone elses, each of whom interacted with more people in a manner potentially determined by the actions of that stranger connecting the two of you. Not to mention the possibilities for the far reaching effects of those whose lives we truly impact...

Musings inspired by a commerical for a new ABC show while watching Grey's Anatomy reruns. TV is supposed to keep you from thinking...not provide fodder for my overactive imagination. The show looks like it might be good, and it's in the right time slot, immediately after Greys on Thursday nights, but it may very well still be one of those fabulous shows the network cuts even though it's fantastic because there aren't enough literal explosions to garner a large audience immediately. Beware of becoming attached too quickly...

passion

Saturday night I convinced Tim to go with me to the Stoney LaRue show at Midnight Rodeo. The concert was nothing short of fantastic. There was a passion present on that stage that perfused everything it touched and left it glowing. Mixed with talent also present you have something pretty incredible. There are moments when listening is something akin to a transfusion. It just breathes life back into me, the power of it draws my appreciation of life back to the surface where it belongs.

In the ever shifting sands of backing musicians, Stoney had added an electric organ player to his band, which gave the music a kind of surreal quality at times that worked in a pretty profound way. Tim seemed overwhelmed by the rock and roll bassist, who was indeed very good. The guitar player's cover of Brick House is what did it for me, though, and hearing album favorites played - or jammed to - live is always a highpoint.

To climb a mountain, you’ve got to risk the fall
To make a difference, sometimes you’ve got to risk it all
Just like an eagle, spread your wings and fly
Ain't afraid to lose, ain't afraid to die
-Down in Flames

bandwagon

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

I think I got the better end of the deal than most people. But then again I'm so scattered and confused these days that my answers probably aren't accurate either. Or I'm a doormat.

a glimpse

The showring in Indy. As most arenas do, it has terrible lighting. The Angus Journal Canon Rebels worked fabulously despite this. Mine did not. I've spent a lot of time in showrings like it, both at the halter and tailing calves. The shavings are died green and it stains. Several of my pairs of khakis still have green-tinged cuffs and it took forever for it to wear off the soles of my boots.

Kara and Jarrett. Kara was just elected to the junior board, Jarrett was one of my "new six" and retired last year. And they're both fantastic people. As with anywhere you find all sorts at a cattle show, but they are two of the truly quality ones. I'm bound and determined that the two of them should wind up together...theres that certain sparkle there.

Washrack, in the middle of the day. It happens. He'd already been shown, late nights get in the way of early mornings, etc. etc.

The fuzzy ears are what do me in when it comes to show cattle. No Angus kid will ever question a certain number of things. Included among these are the acceptance that junior nationals is summer vacation, seeing some of your closest friends only two or three times a year, and that a kelly green blazer is one of the most attractive things a person can possibly wear. Another is just how adorable our show cattle really are. It's innate. There is simply no helping it. And nothing tops the sight of black calves on green grass in the springtime.

one foot in the past

Back from Indy. Trying to recover. Late nights, early mornings. Spent lots of time with old friends, met some cool new people. Realized that respect sometimes comes from unexpected places, people really can grow up, but some people never change. That suddenly guys (in that crowd) find me attractive, but they still don't ask for phone numbers; that that growing up sucks, but maybe at some point I'll be ready to let go.

When did I ask to be included in the process of growing up? Screw this quarter life crisis-ing, I want to be 19 again and just beginning my term on the jr. board. Kara and Joe both were elected and I am incredibly excited for the two of them. Joe's speech for the delegates on Wednesday night was one of the best I've ever heard in a long time. I gave so much of myself when I was on the board that I have a vested interest in who is elected, even if I have no real influence in the decision, so it's exciting to have a new six of which I approve.

Roses

roses, originally uploaded by Hull Cove.

Gorgeous wedding. Some of the pictures I took are on my flickr site (click on the photo). More to come later.

"those know, they don't ever say much; those who don't know talk all the time..." -M. McClure

new favorite things

My new favorite toy is flickr. Jumping between "favorites" of random strangers is highly engaging; there is some amazing photography to be seen. I've been doing this on a regular basis as of late, particularly when I know I should be doing something more productive. This has resulted in finding a slew of inspiring photographs and I find that I am no longer satisfied with my paltry point and shoot camera. While fine for recording memories it sucks for expression.

The seventy photos I shot yesterday between work and my front door are testament to this.

Photos like these are what originally sparked my interest in photography. I couldn't have been much older than eight or nine; I remember we were in the 4-H projects exhibit building at the Great Frederick Fair, a cavernous place full of home-sewn clothing and table settings and wood carvings and week old slices of cake, all labeled with bright ribbons. And in a mostly ignored corner, several racks of brightly colored, highly detailed photographs of flowers mid-bloom in all their glory, frozen in time, the hills of western Maryland lit up at sunset, and the like. I remember thinking I want to do that...