in summary

In this moment my life feels right. The temperature outside is absolutely perfect, I have several defined and achievable goals for the next few days, and I'm going on a vacation of a lifetime with two fabulous friends next week. Note: reading Matt and Andrea's wedding site is maybe making me a little, jealous, but I know it's not my time yet. Someday.)

This evening I had to proctor an exam from 7-10. It wasn't as bad as it sounds, because I got to read a real book for no reason other than I can, for the entire three hours. Yesterday wasn't nearly as great. It was a frustrating day in which I had not one but THREE conversations that touched on my deepest insecurities. However, they were all at least constructive and kind. And one was extremely helpful. Ari gave me exactly the advice I needed: "you just have to decide that you can." I needed a while to fully mull over it and get myself to the point where I can at least see myself believing such a statement from my own mind. We'll see what happens. It's getting better, as is my initiative, especially considering the burnout and self doubt I'm operating under at the moment. Going from being successful to struggling every step of the way is a major shift.